1月工作雜感

I have been worked in this company for 14 months, and I think I am unsuitable for this project management specialist position because of some people problem.

Should I keep hanging on it or should I leave?


My supervisor said it's about going with "people", and she said I had some problem in working with a specific colleague who was the key person in a big project, and I was assigned as her supporter.

Had thought through all things happened to me and annoyed me, I admitted that I was not detail-oriented, preferred to work on my own, and had my own working temple, for instance, if I was assigned a mission, I would set a schedule for it and think beforehand, and took stakeholders' interest into consideration. So I ran projects smoothly and  worked well with internal teams and met clients' requirement, and  solved problems before turning worse.

But when it went to the big project, I still couldn't work well with her. Maybe I was used to working in a more autonomy and independent environment, and no need to ask for advice or to be reviewed for every detail and arrangement. Although I was her supporter in the project, I hoped I still could have some tiny decision making autonomy or influence. Did I ask too much?

Judging from set schedule in a few months and there are no new projects for me to start with, I predict the same problem will happen again. 

Moreover, I know it is not necessary for people to be nice to me, and I don't ask for treating me like I am a sweetheart, but can they treat me with respect or talk gently and not questioning? Especially when I used new way to get things done, and I didn't do anything wrong. Is it wrong to do thing without considering kiss someone's ass?

I pay attention to my word and attitude not being harsh or mean even though I don't agree with what they said or did, how they treated me made me uncomfortable and full of negative emotion.

The most important thing is that I don't like the big project at all, perhaps all these uncomfortable things happened is because of my attitude that cared nothing at the beginning to hate it in the end.

Anyway, I still learned something from it such as think twice before speak,  be rational and reasonable in discussion and persuade others taking my ideas, be prepared for any change, work smart and balance with life, and to treat people fairly and gently.

Back to the question, I don't have heart and passion on my job, and I can't see my future in this company, and I pay more attention to my colleague in marketing and promotion unit, and think if I were them what I would do. The last thing is I don't want to tolerate negative emotion from work anymore.

Leave is the answer.



ps. I wish I can learn how to speak humorously and wisely this year. 



swot analysis:
personality 
My strengths : curious, rational, calm, optimistic, introverted, responsible, insightful, adaptable, 
My weakness : negligent, impatient,  introverted, a little serious

Capability:
My strengths : scheduling, negotiating, creative,